All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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