Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
People with herpes should wear stickers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
