she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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