He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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