She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
