i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
