Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was born a porn star she said
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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