Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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