so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
