Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
