Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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