HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
