would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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