'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
