I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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