Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
