I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
