dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
