it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
even my farts smell like vagina
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
