I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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