what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize