I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do vagina's smell?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I need moral support for this bender
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
