oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
