I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
