drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's rum buckets o'clock
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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