Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
