And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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