Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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