Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
