can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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