You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We have started to decorate penises.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
