every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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