yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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