Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
