I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
