Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
