do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
