There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
