My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need moral support for this bender
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You are a genius and a whore.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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