soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
