the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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