I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
