things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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