I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
how drunk are you?
Several
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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