Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
