Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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