so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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