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You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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