Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
