...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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