Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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