Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
