I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
