Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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