This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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