bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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