It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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