i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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