someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
