Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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